05. September 2010 · 1 comment · Categories: Uncategorized · Tags: ,

Right after I hit “Publish Post” on that Labor Day blog post below, something dreadful happened.

I got up from my spot on the couch where I do my blogging, walked to the half bath just outside the family room, and prepared to go to the bathroom. Before I could get started (thankfully!) my iPhone fell out of the front pocket of my shorts and I heard the “Plop!”.

Oh F-U-D-G-E.

As quickly as humanly possible, I fished my phone out of the bowl, wiped it with a towel and ran back to the laptop by the couch to Google “wet iphone”.

Go ahead, Google it yourselves and see what you get…

Mostly blog posts about (a) how to dry off a wet iPhone and (b) how to scam the Apple Store into pretending your phone didn’t get wet to get a free replacement.

The phone was still on while I was reading all this…but the screen had become VERY dark.  Not off, but really dark.  I tried to make a phone call, but the phone was indicating that the SIM card was missing.

Quick!  Remove the SIM card!

I found my can of compressed air and blasted some of the moisture out of the bottom port, the top headphones and SIM port and around the home button.

The next step was to store the phone in a container filled with uncooked rice.  Just immerse the phone into the rice.  You have to be disciplined to not turn on the phone (and risk shorting out the circuits) and let the rice do its work drawing the moisture out of the interior of the phone.

So that’s where we stand right now.  I made an appointment at the Apple Store for tomorrow afternoon to investigate a replacement just in case the rice doesn’t work out…

UPDATE: The phone has been sitting in the rice for 9 hours.  I misbehaved and turned on the phone just now and Dave and I made a test call.  It all seemed to work.  Whoo hoo, right?

No…the home button still doesn’t work.  In order to attempt another App, I had to power off the phone, then power it back on to return to the home screen.  Then I could check out the iPod feature (which worked) and a couple of the apps.

It’s back in the rice for the night.  It has 12 more hours before I have to decide on attempting to replace it altogether.

28. August 2010 · Comments Off on The Vollmer "Weather Curse", Take 6 · Categories: Uncategorized · Tags: , ,

Most of this text is stolen from a 21 November 2008 blog post about the crazy weather experiences we’ve had everywhere we’ve lived since we’ve been married. At the end of that blog post, I posed the question: “What will Bellevue, Nebraska bring?”

Now that we’re wrapping up our Nebraska tour and headed toward our 7th home in 15 years, I’m confident that Winter of 2009-2010 in eastern Nebraska was a result of the Vollmers living here. Really. So here’s the summary of the Vollmer “Weather Curse” (1-5 are from the previous blog post), and I’ve added #6 at the end. Enjoy:

1.) Ft. Polk, Leesville, and DeRidder, LA. Ice storm, January 1997.

Not sure if this picture is from that exact ice storm, but this is a good example of what Southwestern LA looked like after this storm.

This was pretty daunting. Louisiana flora and fauna didn’t take to this very well, neither did the 101st Airborne soldiers who were in the field doing training during this ice storm. I remember sliding sideways in my car down the hill towards the base weather station.

2.) Seoul, S. Korea. Monsoon flooding, August 1998. (<– See 5th paragraph of this link) We had a Korean citizen working in our weather unit. Mr. Ko. He told us that folklore said that every 11 years, the annual Korea Monsoon is worse than usual. And every 11th of those 11 years, it’s even worse. And 1998 was predicted to be that 121st year. All of us Americans who’d heard this were like, “Yeah, right, whatever…” Well, the folklore was right. It was the worst flooding in everyone’s memory, bridges that bisected Seoul were flooded out, the military was on the verge of deploying thousands of people into the fields for a major exercise and those plans were disrupted. The building Dave and I lived in flooded on the ground floor, and our Saturn flooded a little, too. But we didn’t have it nearly as badly as some of those stationed closer to the DMZ, whose quonset huts filled to the brim!

3.) Beavercreek (Dayton), OH. Xenia Tornado Redux, September 20, 2000.

Most weather weenies know the story of the April 3, 1974 F5 tornado that plowed through Xenia, Ohio. They still debate to this day whether that was the strongest tornado ever measured.

The September 2000 tornado originated very close to our house, and moved AWAY from our house, following a very similar path to the 1974 one. I had asked for a bicycle for my birthday (which was the day after the tornado). We lived near a nice bike trail network, and Xenia was closed to non-resident motor vehicle traffic for about a week. But Dave and I were able to ride our new bikes all over the town and see the damages up close and personal. It was very eerie to see where the tornado had crossed our local bike trail…

4.) Melbourne, FL. Hurricanes Charley, Frances, and Jeanne, August-October 2004.

By this point in our lives, Dave and I knew that strange weather happens when we live somewhere and I feel it contributed to our decision to NOT to buy a house on the barrier islands. Yes, it’s very superstitious, but I’m grateful every day of the wise choice we made when we bought our first house in Florida 5 miles INLAND.

We moved to Florida in spring 2002. As the hurricane seasons of 2002 and 2003 wound down, we started looking at just how long it had been since a hurricane hit the Florida east coast south of Jacksonville and north of where Hurricane Andrew had hit in 1992. Nearly 100 years, if I remember correctly! As every year since Andrew had passed, Florida was holding its breath for the next “biggie”.

Those storms absolutely decimated houses all over East Central Florida, but our home was spared, except for damaged screens and a blown air conditioner fuse.

5.) Apex (Raleigh), NC. The Apex Chlorine Fire (not really weather), October 2006 and NC’s Worst Drought in over 100 Years, Summer 2007.

We heard the initial explosions from the chlorine storage containers at about 10:30pm, and we saw the glow in the sky from our front porch. It was a pleasant evening, I remember, so we had opened up all the windows in our house, which made it easier to hear the explosions and the emergency vehicles…one after another.

The EQ Industries Chlorine Storage Facility Fire occurred about 1/2 mile from our house.  We could see the glow of the flames from our front porch.

We wasted no time packing the boys, the dog and some provisions and then made haste to Dave’s NC State office near downtown Raleigh. After that, we took a breath, and made follow on arrangements in a hotel in North Raleigh. It was warm the night we evacuated, so the boys were in short pajamas, and I remember having to buy warmer PJs at Walmart for the following night…one of the season’s first cold fronts had passed.

I forfeited part of our reimbursement from the evacuation expenses because I refuse to sign a gag order. I had a 4-year-old and an 18-month old! Who knows if something will come along later that might be related to this?

As for the drought, I’m glad it’s now over. All it took was Dave and me moving out of the area…I’m glad we could help.

6.) Bellevue (Omaha), NE. The winter of 2009-2010 certainly packed a punch!

Dave shoveling a path for the dog in the backyard Christmas morning.
From 2009 12 25 Christmas Eve Travel & Christmas Blizzard

Starting with a Columbus Day-weekend snow event! On October 9-10, 2009, the Omaha Metro area received 3-5″ of snow! The family was planning to go test-driving new vehicles that weekend, and we were pleased that the snow had mostly melted by the evening of the 10th. But still!

After a reprise through about Thanksgiving, December proved to be almost-recording setting, with over 20″ during the month of December alone. The kids had their first snow days on December 9th and 10th, and then when the family was returning from Walt Disney World on December 24th, a major winter storm was taking shape that shut down Dallas-Fort Worth airport just after our flight took off (phew) and we were so proud of the crews at Omaha Eppley Airfield for working so hard on keeping the runways cleared. It was rather scary driving home from the airport in the high winds and blowing snow! This photo album shows some of the weather we had dealt with during that blizzard.

We had several other snow events, with the kids having some 6 snow days this year and several records being broken, mostly related to how long the area had a snowpack (approximately December 19, 2009 to approximately March 23, 2010). But not the absolute snowiest winter in Omaha.

Some pretty crazy side effects of all this snow emerged, too. Enjoy stories of school districts getting in trouble for not schooling their kids enough, and snowmelt revealing mold on lawns.

25. August 2010 · Comments Off on The Corn Debate — Starch or Veggie? · Categories: Uncategorized · Tags: , ,

Considering I’m in Nebraska, it makes sense that we should take some time to discuss corn here, right?

The nickname “Cornhusker” was first adopted by the University of Nebraska football team in 1900.

The little farm stands popped up all over the Omaha Metro, as they do every year in mid-July. I’m partial to this nice stand at about 15th St. and Cornhusker Ave. The two polite young men who operate the stand are both in college and happily accept tips to help their tuition 🙂 I’ll pick up corn that’s was picked less than 24 hours ago at 50 cents an ear. I’ve probably done this 5 times so far this summer and I think everyone’s had their fill.

I know I can get corn for 10 cents an ear at Walmart, but I learned that their corn came to us from Florida!

Now why would I buy Florida corn in Nebraska of all places????

Anyway, it had gotten me thinking about how folks serve up corn in their households. I’m not talking about recipes with corn, but rather how corn is regarded for dinner service: starch or veggie?

I remember it being treated like a veggie in my house growing up, but knowing what I know about corn’s chemical composition, and how easily it can become corn chips or corn tortillas, we have migrated it over to the starch group since we’ve had kids.

So instead of rice or potatoes, we’ll serve up some corn.

I noticed, based on my oh-so-scientific poll from August 2nd, that 2/3 of my sample set continue to treat corn as a veggie, while 1/3 of us treat it as a starch. I guess that makes sense. I was definitely on the fence for this one, too.

18. August 2010 · Comments Off on Now is Time We Talk About Our Feelings…. · Categories: Uncategorized · Tags: , ,

Before I get going with my Colorado blog posts, I’m going to take a moment to discuss my feelings.

“Really? You RARELY talk about your feelings….you fill this blog with things you’ve seen, things you’ve done, things you would like to do….”

Yeah, I guess you’re right, my dear imaginary blogosphere friend. I think the only emotions you ever see out of me are:

“I’m so excited we got to do ^insert activity here^!!!!!!”

or

“Would you believe folks eat ^insert high fructose corn syrup, trans fat-laden food here^?”

So now I’d like to discuss the Inner Mom Peace emotions I’m feeling.

“Aww….how sweet! Whatever do you mean?”

I mean this:

Feeling the peace….

I don’t think I realized it until yesterday, the first day of school for my boys.

Yes. Boys — in the plural! My little Timmy started Kindergarten yesterday!!! Jacob’s old hat at this now, and he had no problem making his way to school almost on his own.

From 2010 08 16 First Day of School & Timmy’s 1st Day of Kindergarten

From 2010 08 16 First Day of School & Timmy’s 1st Day of Kindergarten

Yes, it was emotional for me as Mrs. Brockhaus read the Kindergarteners “The Kissing Hand“.

So…after the 30 minute parents’ time in Timmy’s class, Dave went on to work and I was left with a house to myself.

All.

Day.

Okay, so it wasn’t really all day — but it was 6 1/2 hours! And today, it was 7 hours!

And for the first time in a long time, I was finishing things around the house without one of the kids interrupting me in some way. Whether it’s the two of them arguing, one of them asking me a question, or my having to stop everything because it’s mealtime or snacktime. Part of being a Mom, I know.

All of our traveling contributed to the disorder in my mental being, I’m sure. It was a fun-filled, action-packed summer, but the return to routine is very welcome!

It isn’t really the physical tasks of doing things around the house that’s bringing me the peace, it’s the mental part of it — that my brain isn’t getting flooding with other things. I’m not thinking “Oh my gosh! I have to get this done NOW!”. I know that these things will get done eventually while the kids are at school.

Yesterday I caught up on yard work, laundry and cleaning floors. Today I caught up on filing paperwork — I had a stack of bill statements, medical insurance statements, military paperwork, even stuff from taxes last winter…a single stack that was growing and growing since New Year’s!!! I used to file this stuff MONTHLY! I also put the boys’ completed schoolwork in a pile in our office area…I later decide what stuff to keep, what stuff NOT to keep (remember, we’re a military family, we can’t keep everything!).

This feels great! And it couldn’t come at a better time as I have to start preparing for our move this fall. We’re planning a yard sale for much of our unneeded stuff, but I’ve also discovered that some of our items will sell well on Craigslist or eBay. I feel like I have time to do all this now.

It’s a nice feeling.

02. July 2010 · Comments Off on Funny Fireworks · Categories: Uncategorized · Tags: , ,

This week I’m volunteering at a fireworks stand. For those saying “Wow! How?”, let me explain a little.

The state of Nebraska allows 10 days per year for free-for-all fireworks sales/use. There are some exceptions: none of this is legal in the Omaha city limits, and Lincoln only allows sales for 2 days. So starting on June 25th, you hear the explosions as everyone’s having a good time with their loot. In our neighborhood, it’s only really loud till about 10pm…except for July 4th, I know last summer we were launching till midnight, at least!

From 2009 07 04 July4thBlockParty

In Bellevue, and perhaps in other cities (but I don’t know for sure), local non-profits can pay the licensing fees and sell the fireworks as a fundraiser. I got an e-mail from the Bellevue Soccer Club looking for volunteers to help man their club’s fundraiser fireworks stand up the road from us. My first thought? DISCOUNTS! Even though I was TDY at the beginning of the week, and we’re leaving on vacation at the end of the week, I still thought it’d be a fun thing to do, so I volunteered to do 2 four-hour shifts.

I did my first four-hour shift yesterday and it was fun. Not super crowded, but not bad either. A steady stream of customers.

Anyway, the point of this blog post is to share some of the hilarious names for these fireworks.  These are all multi-shot small mortar shells.  You light it one time and it launches 25 or so shots in succession.

Some are benign. There’s no doubt what this is, right?

From 2010 07 10 Fireworks Packages

Some are sillier. And we start to lose any sense of what’s in the packaging.

From 2010 07 10 Fireworks Packages

Some are adrenaline-packed! Forget about a description of what this is.

From 2010 07 10 Fireworks Packages

And this one made no sense to me whatsoever. Are these even fireworks???

From 2010 07 10 Fireworks Packages

And here are some others…enjoy!

From 2010 07 10 Fireworks Packages
From 2010 07 10 Fireworks Packages
From 2010 07 10 Fireworks Packages
02. May 2010 · Comments Off on Hypothesis Successful! · Categories: Uncategorized · Tags: , , ,

Yesterday morning I posted about the Hamburger Helper we were planning for dinner. I predicted that our dinner would be a beef-based gravy and it turned out that’s exactly what we ended up with.

I know I had promised just a comment at the bottom of yesterday’s post about the outcome of the Hamburger Helper. But this was worth a separate blog post because of a suggestion from a friend (which I’ll mention below).

So here’s what we ended up with:

From 2010 05 01 Hamburger Helper

Howie’s vomit? No…”Beef Pasta” flavored Hamburger Helper.  Let’s show it nice and up close for you:

From 2010 05 01 Hamburger Helper

I don’t know about you, but I don’t find this appealing looking one bit. It tasted edible, and only Jacob liked it…I can’t believe I loved this stuff as a kid!  My hypothesis was correct in that the flavor of this dish was based on a creamy beef gravy. You add milk along with the browned beef and water. If you manage through the preservative-y saltiness, you can taste a beefy-type flavor.

Why is this a separate post? Because when I posted this picture to my Facebook page, one of my friends, who maintains a gluten-free household, brought this blog post to my attention. Homemade Hamburger Helper! Without the preservatives, sodium and other unpronouncable ingredients! Yay!

I was thinking that Hamburger Helper would make a good camping meal, so I’m looking forward to this alternative! Now, to choose a flavor, Suzanne made so many options!

23. April 2010 · 2 comments · Categories: Uncategorized · Tags: ,

So…over here on the left is a DVD box set that I bought for my boys this week.  38 episodes of Tom and Jerry!  It was $14.99 at our local Baker’s (read: Kroger) grocery store.

My boys LOVE Tom and Jerry!  I loved Tom and Jerry cartoons when I was little.  I fondly recall watching the shorts on Channel 27 back in the early 80s in Norfolk.

This particular box set is special because it has the short “Puss Gets the Boot”, which was the very first Tom and Jerry short…so old that Tom isn’t even called “Tom”.  He’s “Jasper” here.  In fact, “Puss Gets the Boot” is the very first time William Hanna and Joseph Barbera worked together in 1939.

I’m looking at the back of the box, which typically has the description of the DVD, playing time (320 minutes!), MPAA rating, etc.  There’s also this line:

“TOM AND JERRY SPOTLIGHT COLLECTION VOLUME 2 is Intended for the Adult Collector and May Not Be Suitable for Children.”

WHAT?  Are they serious?  Because of the violence?  The perceived racism of Mammy Two Shoes (a character inspired by Hattie McDaniel’s Mammy from Gone with the Wind)?  What’s it doing on Cartoon Network and Boomerang if children shouldn’t be watching it?

The beginning of the first DVD in this set has an introduction by Whoopi Goldberg, who discusses the racist themes and violence and emphasizes that while it’s funny to see the characters perform in such ways, it doesn’t mean such behavior is advocated.  At least Whoopi is supportive of allowing viewers to see the cartoons the way they were originally drawn…many of the Mammy Two Shoes episodes had her edited out and replaced by a seemingly white woman.

Anyway, I found that rather interesting, that disclaimer about Tom and Jerry not being for children.  My kids love it, and I don’t think they’re going to become criminals or juvenile delinquents because of what they watch on these DVDs.

18. April 2010 · 2 comments · Categories: Uncategorized · Tags: , , ,

So here we are at Costco, for our quarterly stock-up trip. We were almost out of the big ticket items that I usually stock in bulk: toilet tissue, coffee, dinner napkins, kitchen trashbags, bar soap, etc. As usual, we ended up with stuff we don’t need, like a case of Mexicoke. But I have to admit I did MUCH better than usual!

So I was walking down the snack aisle, issuing an endless stream of “No, Timmy!”s and “No, Jacob!”s at their endless stream of “Mother, can we have [insert crappy snack item here]?”. And we saw these chips. And dissolved into a flurry of giggles all at once!!! I think we all agreed: none of us want this!

O. M. G. What will they think of next???

07. April 2010 · 2 comments · Categories: Uncategorized · Tags: ,


On two recent blog posts here, there are comments written in Chinese characters.

This one: http://vollmerdp.blogspot.com/2010/03/big-top-cupcake-love-it-or-loathe-it.html

And this one: http://vollmerdp.blogspot.com/2010/04/garden-season.html

The first one went up on March 14th, and I get the comments sent to my e-mail account. So there’s all this Chinese in my inbox.

What do you THINK I’m going to do with it? Yep, sent the e-mail to the trash and didn’t think anything else of it.

Until it happened again 2 days ago. This time I said, “Let me throw this into Google Translator and see what I get.”

I put in the comment that I got in the Garden Season post and got this text in return:

“Simple act of spiritual joy to others, prayer is better than thousand bow”

Awww….how sweet. Next to the comment is a bunch of ellipsis with a link. Like a moron, I clicked the link.

Go ahead, click the link. I dare you! Get the kids out of the room first, please!

The second set of text? The one on the Big Top Cupcake post? Well, I’m not putting that translation here. You may go check it out yourself, just go from Chinese to English on the Google Translator.

I’d like to remove the comment, but not before my billions (cough!) of faithful readers get a chance to copy/paste it into the translator and get a smile. Once again, get the kids out of the room!

25. February 2010 · Comments Off on Do-It-Yourself Demotivational Posters! · Categories: Uncategorized · Tags: ,

This is a re-post from April 10, 2008…thanks again to Paul G. who had first enlightened me about this.

Presenting the Do-It-Yourself Demotivational Poster Generator

Dave and I have always gotten a kick out of those motivational posters, such as this one:


But we get MORE of a kick out of the parodies on the motivational posters. This one was framed in Dave’s office in Florida.


Sure, folks have tried to make up their own, and you get something like this one below, which is from the USJFCOM Joint Warfighting Center in Suffolk, VA. Framed, hanging up on the wall. I couldn’t even go into this room with a straight face. I did a lot of Reserve work in the room with this poster in 2006 and 2007. There was a series of posters featuring different facets of military capability: “Intelligence”, “Operations”, “Logistics”. While I’m honored that someone thought to include “Meterology”, I wish someone had consulted a spell-checker first.
I didn’t add that Post-It note, someone else did:

With the link I’ve shown above, you can upload a picture of your choice, then add your own title and catch-phrase. Then you can e-mail the poster to friends, save a JPG of the poster to your hard drive, and you can even order an 11 x 14 of the poster for about $12!

Enjoy my latest creations.



Feel free to try it out and let me know if you come up with any particularly good ones!
Here’s a link to the company that markets the REAL motivation posters, if you’re wanting to learn more about the real thing: Successories.