Wow — What They Say About Crocs is True!

24. June 2009 · 10 comments · Categories: Uncategorized · Tags: , , ,

Disclaimer: If you’re a blogosphere friend — who shall remain unnamed — who’s going to write and say “I told you so” about my boys in Crocs, you don’t need to say anything here. My boys will continue to wear Crocs, just not on day trips into big cities involving escalators! 🙂

Escalators really do eat Crocs.

And here’s our proof:


That’s Timmy’s right-foot NC State Croc. This was on the down escalator near the Blue/Orange line platform at the L’Enfant Plaza Metro Station in D.C. I’m standing at the bottom of the escalator looking up.

I’d heard about this before. Merely Google “Crocs Escalators” and you’ll see all sorts of stuff. I was aware of this before — I typically make a point for my kids to stand in the center of the escalator no matter what shoes they’re wearing. Even in regular shoes or sandals, there’s a risk of injury. I’m aware of that. It’s so rare that we’re on escalators, I didn’t give much thought to the boys NOT wearing their Crocs on our trip into Washington, D.C. just because of the escalators.

But on this particular escalator we were consistently getting shoved out of the way by folks wanting to walk up and down the escalator steps. So I had Timmy way over on our right to keep him out of the way.

Suddenly Timmy’s stepping back and our escalator was grinding to a halt. Timmy had yanked his foot out of the shoe, evidenced by the broken strap on the right side, and he seemed fine.

There were all these people on the escalator when it stopped. They merely walked down the now-stationary steps and continued towards the train platform.

I after quickly whisking Timmy out of the way and checking his feet — having him wiggle his toes — we decided to leave the shoe there and just get on the train. After we took our seats I had to count to ten a few times — I was pretty freaked at what a near-miss that was! Timmy was and still is fine. No tears, no nothing. He was pretty matter-of-fact about the whole thing…even about the loss of a shoe. This was at the end of our trip into the city, so it wasn’t hard for him to be carried from the train to the van for the ride home.

Are we going to sue the D.C. Metro? No. We chose to take the D.C. Metro, we chose to incur the risks that go with it.

Are we going to sue Crocs? No. Buying/wearing Crocs is our choice, and we choose to accept the risks that go with it.

Part of me wishes we could sue the people who saw what was going on and refused to acknowledge our existence, but there’s obviously nothing I could do about that. Dave tried to find someone to report the now-stopped escalator while I was checking Timmy, but he couldn’t find anyone to help out. He tried to pull out the shoe, to no avail.

Will my kids continue to wear Crocs? Most likely. I’ll definitely give more thought to the escalator-ness of our travels…for example, perhaps Crocs aren’t the best thing when we’re doing air travel, with the escalators in airports. But of course they’re all of ours’ shoes of choice for the beach, pool or boating.

In the meantime, since my boys will be spending time at the pool over the next couple days, Timmy is now the proud, happy owner of a new pair of Spiderman flip-flops!

My Tightrope Walk…

11. May 2009 · 6 comments · Categories: Uncategorized · Tags: , , ,

More evidence that I tend to lead a double life. I have the honor of not just being a member of the military, but I’m also a proud Air Force wife.

When I was active duty, I’d attempt to participate in spouse functions, sometimes successfully, but sometimes NOT. Most were very welcoming and I had a great time playing Bunco, going on shopping trips, and attending countless bridal and baby showers.

The Air Force Wive’s group when I was in Korea in the late 90s was a prime example of not feeling welcome…most of their functions were tailored to times when the kids were in school, but once I made it to an evening event, and, to be honest, I wasn’t very comfortable listening to the men I worked with being referred to as “Billy”, “Joey”, “Tommy”, etc.

On the other hand, when I was stationed with the Army in my first years in the USAF, many of the Army ladies’ functions I participated in were great! They seemed much more laid back, and I didn’t see the distinctions between whether your spouse is enlisted, officer, the commander, etc. And they certainly didn’t care that I was Air Force, not Army.

If you’re a commander’s wife, you’re expected to be a leader in the spouse’s group. Obviously it isn’t required, but the other spouses will look to the commander’s spouse for guidance.

“What in the world is making you think of this NOW?”

Here’s what. Last week I attended a spouse’s appreciation function at Dave’s office. There were about 20 of us, we had a nice catered lunch and they even had some young Airmen who took Timmy and sat with him in a conference room where “Tale of Desperaux” was playing. After the lunch, we received the official Air Force Weather Agency briefing and then got a tour of the relatively-new building they work in now.

I like things like this.  Dave will tell you about how much fun I have at social functions, and it’s important to me to know about the people and their families in Dave’s professional life, we help each other out in times of need.

During the function, the AFWA commander came out and addressed us, thanking us for supporting our husbands and even giving us these lovely certificates.

From 2009 05 11 AFWA Spouse Certificate

More »

Things I Won’t Miss About This Place

10. April 2009 · 4 comments · Categories: Uncategorized · Tags: , ,

Don’t get me wrong, I’d rather be here than Bagram or Balad. The trips off base were great and I’m glad I took the risk to venture out there. But this is still a deployed location and I had to do without quite a bit.

Here’s a list of things I won’t miss about being here…

1.) Wearing reflective belts at night even though the AF Physical Fitness uniform is covered in reflective screen printing.
2.) The dust.
3.) Eating breakfast at dinnertime, and dinner at lunchtime, and lunch at breakfasttime.
4.) The dust.
5.) Having a first sergeant come up to me outside to ask me to tuck in my fitness shirt all the way. Like he was standing there waiting for me to arrive to give him something to do.
6.) The dust.
7.) Wearing reflective belts at night around my uniform, and around my backpack.
8.) The dust.
9.) Trudging home from work in 90 degree temperatures along the roadside while a young Airman whizzes past me in an air conditioned 2009 Ford F-150 with no other passengers.
10.) The dust.
11.) The smell of ASS in the trailers when we weren’t able to open the doors periodically. One giant collective fart.
12.) The dust.
13.) The smell of dead animals right outside the entrance to the dining facilities. There’s no better way to perk up your appetite.
14.) The dust.
15.) The dining hall main line servers (not military) who always would offer me TWO steaks, TWO pieces of lasagna, TWO Belgian waffles. What, did they think I wasn’t fat enough?
16.) The dust.
17.) Having to walk 90 seconds to the latrine if I have to pee in the middle of my sleep time…and having to remember to tuck in my uniform shirt and put on my reflective belt first.
18.) The dust.
19.) Having to reduce my entire life down to the contents of two suitcases.
20.) The dust.

Altogether Now: "How Tired Were You?"

20. March 2009 · 4 comments · Categories: Uncategorized · Tags: , ,

Happy Friday and Happy Spring! Another random funny deployment story for you.

So here it is…6:15pm on a Friday night, and I’m still awake.

“Hey, me too! Let’s go hit a club and go dancing later!”

No no no no no. I’m not supposed to be awake! For those unaware, I’ve been on the night shift my whole time on this deployment. I won’t give specifics, except to say that I usually sleep from about 4pm-11pm.

You saw my post from a week or so ago. Sleep, or lack thereof, can be a plague on one’s good attitude and overall productivity. I don’t think I get cranky, but I start doing strange things.

My first month here, I took a trip off base in the evening. I didn’t sleep all day, then went out to dinner in downtown Doha with friends. It was a fun time out but I didn’t sleep between one day’s work and the next.

I thought I was fine. I distinctly remember thinking how resilient I was considering my lack of sleep. The weather was keeping my adrenaline up, I recall. At about 4am I went out to the latrine trailer. Where I work, we have to leave our building and walk out to a row of latrine trailers outside. Not far, probably a 1 minute walk. Picture three construction office trailer-looking buildings…all in a row. Don’t fret, they aren’t bad. The leftmost and center trailers are for the men, the right hand trailer is for the women (since women are probably less than 20% of the population here, we have a pretty good deal).

I walked into the trailer, chose a toilet, and proceeded to do my thing. While I’m in the stall, I notice that the walls are black — when I’m used to them being off-white — and I began to ponder:

“When did they paint the insides of the toilet stalls?”

“WHY would they paint the insides of the toilet stalls?”

“And how come I can’t smell the fresh paint of these newly painted stalls?”

“Wait a minute! How did these paint flecks and scrapes appear on these walls covered in non-smelling, newly applied black paint?”

I finished my business, flushed and walked to the opposite wall of the trailer to wash my hands. It’s at that moment that I noticed (a) the wall of urinals that I didn’t notice before and (b) the MAN standing in front of one of them!

You guessed it — I had marched right into one of the mens’ latrines and did my thing. I guess on that day I was more tired than I thought.

This was back in early February, before the insomnia fatigue had kicked in. So after that lack-of-sleep shift I remember going back to my dorm and sleeping straight through until I had to get up to work again.

Stay tuned, maybe after tonight’s lack of sleep I’ll have a new “How Tired Were You?” story to share!

"The worst thing in the world is to try to sleep and not to." ~F. Scott Fitzgerald

07. March 2009 · 4 comments · Categories: Uncategorized · Tags: , ,
I’m seem to be suffering some sort of insomnia. I’ve not gotten more than 3-4 hours’ sleep per night this past week, except for one night — a night off — where I made things worse by sleeping right through till almost morning. This is bad because I work nights here.

So I’m living that quote above. I remember once learning that if you cannot sleep, your body can still get rest by just remaining still in the dark.

That’s easier said than done. There are several contributors to the insomnia — working night shifts is a start. Also, I think as I get older I’m developing an oversensitivity to caffeine. Over the past 2 weeks I’ve been compensating for the lack of sleep by consuming more and more caffeine: diet sodas, coffee, chocolate…

Yesterday, because we were showing around some visitors from the U.S., I needed to stay awake all day after working overnight. So I consumed some 2 large coffees, 2 or 3 cans of Diet Pepsi, ahem, Pepsi Diet, and also this beverage called “Rip It”…and energy drink that’s provided to us in the dining halls here. Really. You will see on this website that Rip It “Fuels Our Heroes”…

Then I turn around and try to go to sleep before all that caffeine works out of my body. So even though I was playing Patricia-the-Bobble-Head in the meetings — as were our visitors who were suffering horrific jet lag, I would lie in the dark and be alone with my thoughts and frustrations.

So after my 2-3 hours sleep Friday evening, I awakened at 11pm with a resolve to go into work and not consume any caffeine during my shift.

I did not do well. It was horrible. I must have faded in and out several dozen times. I hadn’t been this tired since Timmy was a baby, and I certainly hadn’t felt this tired doing critical Air Force work in over a decade! I’d be sitting at my workstation, staring at weather charts, and out of nowhere it would be 10 minutes later. Did I fall asleep? Was I just staring at the computer screen? The good news was that I didn’t miss any of my tasks during the shift, but I certainly looked foolish swooning all over the place…my workstation is alongside a high-traffic pathway and who knows who saw me.

(My boss here is now a Facebook friend and might be reading this — hey Matt! Don’t worry, everything got done!)

The good news is that I thought I would have had a blinding headache, but I don’t. I think getting the caffeine out of my system is all I need to do, and I will stick to one good-sized coffee per day, 1-2 hours after I awaken, as I typically do at home.

I’m barely awake enough to finish typing up this blog entry, but I have about 30 more minutes on the clothing in the dryer.

Yes, I’m currently doing my own laundry. I’m living in Rose’s dorm and I get to do my own laundry! As you might remember from my previous post about the laundry, although I thought I would absolutely LOVE the idea of laundry service, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be and I’m thrilled to get to do my own this morning.

Also, the civilian wireless connections on this base have been giving me a lot of problems, so I’m limited in my blog posts for now to e-mail only. In other words, I am able to e-mail text to my Blogger account and it posts automatically. I’m also about to set up the ability to e-mail Twitter updates, which tie into the Twitter widget on the right side of the blog and my Facebook status. These posts are also auto-forwarded to Facebook.

Anyhoo, enjoy this blog post and I hope to come back to you soon with some fresh photos and an update on Howie!

The Call Sign

03. February 2009 · 8 comments · Categories: Uncategorized · Tags: , , ,

For you South Park fans out there, this image came up while I was Google Image searching something else and thought it was awesome!

“What were you searching for?”

Well, it’s funny you asked. As a stray blog topic, I was going to discuss the art/science of the military pilot call sign.

[Wagging her finger] Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. You’ve all seen Top Gun! Maverick? Goose? Here, let me refresh your memory…


I’ve met two pilots here named “Tim [something]” and apparently they’re young enough to get the call sign “Timmay!” Exclamation point and everything. In other words, an officer who came into the service after about 2000, when Timmay! was first introduced on South Park.

Between meeting a couple of “Timmay!”s and dozens of other fighter/bomber pilots with the work I’m doing here, it got me thinking about these pilots and their call signs.

Working among this is new to me. You can read a bit about the Air Force call sign tradition here. I spent most of my aviation-weather-forecasting years among Army pilots, who don’t use call signs as much. I’ve never had to do weather work for fighter pilots before. Apparently they’re the ones who go by call signs. You ask a tanker or cargo pilot his call sign and he looks all confused at you. I’m now in a unit that’s run by call-signed pilots, and that’s the jargon around here.

“Hey, Squatter wants to know whether you’re changing the number of planes Claw can use for Cheetah’s missions”.

These call-signed pilots tend to assume that everyone around them has call signs.

“So, Major Vollmer, what’s YOUR call sign?”

Ummmm…..no? At most, I was called “WEATHER!” All caps and everything, and that was usually from someone angry with a bad forecast. I know some weather officers who did get theirs by working with fighter pilots early in their careers.

How do the pilots get their call signs? Sometimes it’s obvious…a guy with a big nose will get tagged “Nose”. And it sticks for the rest of his career. Sometimes it seems random. I know so many “Fang”s, “Snake”s and “Sparky”s from throughout my career. I believe they get named at a big Officer’s Club party during pilot training. It might be formal…but to be honest, I don’t know.

We have a Marine pilot named Farquaad here, you know…from Shrek. He’s short (5′ 7″) and his face seemed to be shaped like the Shrek character, with the square protruding chin. Really. If you didn’t say anything, you wouldn’t notice, but once I heard our chief scream “FAHRQUAAD!” across the room to this guy the first time, I had to stop and laugh.

Our former Chief of Staff of the Air Force, General T. Michael Moseley, went by “Buzz” his entire career. (Note: that was among his peers and other fighter pilots…*I* would never get to call him “Buzz”). Since our current CSAF has a cargo pilot background, he allegedly doesn’t have a call sign.

Last week I took pictures of some of my colleagues at our social tent last week and I wanted to e-mail copies of the pictures to the subjects themselves. So here I am at my laptop, ready to fill in the “To:” block and I realize I’m stuck.

How do I send pictures out to “Runt”, “Stork”, “Trojan”, “Snake” and “Atlas”? That’s how these fighter/bomber pilots do everything at work — I really truly did not know these guys’ first or last names for my first 3 1/2 weeks here! I had to ask this week, “What’s so-and-so’s real name so I can e-mail him this picture?”

So there you go — hopefully Farquaad doesn’t see that I was talking about him on here. At least you won’t know his real name so I’ve protected the innocent, right?

Ok, workout time!

Laundry Casualty

31. January 2009 · 2 comments · Categories: Uncategorized · Tags: , ,

I’m in the midst of dealing with a laundry casualty, but first I guess I should talk about how laundry is done around here.

We don’t have our own washers and dryers, we have a “laundry service”. This takes a little getting used to, and I was blessed to have a couple girlfriends over here who could explain how laundry works here. Nonetheless, I STILL didn’t come completely prepared.

You drop off your laundry at a drop off point, not dissimilar to dropping off dry-cleaning. You fill out a form and the attendant counts out the items you have and itemizes them on a ticket. 72 hours later, you can pick up said laundry.

From 2009 01 10 Southwest Asia
From 2009 01 10 Southwest Asia

The already-folded non-uniform clothing, plus uniform socks, fitness gear and t-shirts comes back in a somewhat-vacuum-sealed bag, while uniforms come back on a hangar.

At first I thought, “This is great!” Those who know me know my disdain with laundry. For 90 days I’ll have no worries — clean clothes presented to me! WOW! And it’s the Doha Marriott hotel doing my laundry…that’s a good thing, right?

Um….no?

This laundry service is brutal on my clothes and I’m glad I didn’t invest in much more than Target-caliber undies, sports bras and white socks for this trip. I’ll show you why right here:

From 2009 01 10 Southwest Asia

See that stupid little sticker? It’s a cloth sticker with a number inked onto it. The example you see is on one of my green uniform socks. The fabric on the sticker is similar to a what’s on a cloth Band-Aid, except a little more stiffened. The number sticker is stuck to each article of clothing…somewhere.

“Where?”

Who knows…front, back, waistband, top, bottom, inside the article of clothing, outside the article…

So when I get each batch of clothing back, I go through and peel off the stickers. So I have to undo the folding that someone at the Marriott had already done — just to peel off those stickers…if it’s on the outside of a uniform item then it can’t be there, and if it’s on the inside of the article of clothing I end up annoyed by the little sticker. So I just peel them off…always taking a few sock, underwear, sports bra or t-shirt fibers with it.

In addition, the stickers leave (a) a sticky adhesive residue and (b) ink bleed-through. Since I didn’t bring my best stuff, this isn’t too horrible, unless it’s bleeding through my already-thin AF fitness shirts. And I’m starting to get annoyed by that.

The clothing is boiled during its rinse cycle. So no colorfast or high-quality lingerie. That’s fine, I don’t have anything in either category here with me anyway.

Back to the original topic: yesterday I experienced my first laundry casualty — at pick-up time, the attendant opens up the bag of folded laundry, counts out the items, then carefully puts it back. Yesterday a pair of my AF Fitness uniform shorts were missing. The attendant caught it right away (which is a good thing), marked up my receipt that we were short one pair of shorts and told me to come back in 48 hours. “Strays” go into some pile somewhere and I can check to see if the shorts come back as a stray. Otherwise, they will reimburse me.

And I sure hope it resolves soon. Like I said before, there’s a 72 hour turnaround, and I figured a minimum of 6 of everything (i.e., white socks, sports bras and AF fitness uniforms) would suffice. It does, but barely. I have exactly 6 sets of AF fitness uniforms. So when I’m short a pair of fitness shorts, I’ll run out before the next set of laundry is available unless I keep VERY clean (not likely here, I work out daily)…

Therefore, while I enjoy not having to run my clothes throught the washer and dryer, the laundry service here is so brutal on your clothing — you can’t expect better when they’re processing THOUSANDS of servicemembers’ laundry — I probably won’t be able to use much of this stuff when I get home. The elastic will be decomposed, and they’ll be peppered with adhesive spots and ink stains.

Paul, if you’re reading this: recommend 8 sets of PT gear!!

This is Ridiculous…

28. January 2009 · Comments Off on This is Ridiculous… · Categories: Uncategorized · Tags: , ,

Is this a “Publishing Fail”?
This is from the Mideast Stars and Stripes…the 5th or 6th example of
bad grammar or misspelling just in today’s edition, the first I’ve
seen as a headline.

A Delicate Balance

10. January 2009 · 6 comments · Categories: Uncategorized · Tags: , ,

Greetings from Southwest Asia!

Now that I’ve gotten some sleep, I can write something that makes sense. I am well…I’m well rested, I’ve unpacked and am settled into my dorm room, and I’ve started my training program to learn my new job. The food here is decent and I’ll be getting plenty of exercise.

I’m glad to finally be here! I don’t know whether I’ve let on or not, I’ve been wanting to do this for many years since I joined the AF Reserves and I’m thrilled to be part of it! Dave can attest to how many times I’ve come home from drill weekends bubbling about a deployment opportunity I’d heard about…

I promise pictures soon, but I want to wait till I have a chance to get my room a little more worked out.

Obviously I’m not going to be giving specifics about what I’m doing here (except that I’m doing weather work), but I’d like to share funny stories that give an idea of what life is like here.

The first story is about my first night’s sleep. After I landed, I couldn’t sleep right away, I had to do some paperwork. Then I needed to switch mattresses and do some rearranging to make things a little more spacious. Then I could make my bed and fall asleep. I was so tired my eyes were closed before my head even hit the pillow! I had slept 2 hours in the previous 40.

I woke up about 5 hours after I fell asleep because I had to go potty. So I got out of bed, put on my shoes and had to walk out the door to the latrine. Imagine walking out your home’s front door and then going to your neighbor two houses down to use their bathroom. Don’t get me wrong, my room is nice, the bathroom facilities are nice….but it was such a distance! And I was SO TIRED! It’s about a 90 second walk in each direction.

Could I hold it? I tried to go back to sleep but couldn’t unless I went to the bathroom. So I did, and I didn’t have a problem getting back to sleep.

So here’s my delicate balance. It’s important to stay hydrated but I don’t want my bladder to disrupt my sleep like that. There must be some perfect amount of water to drink for that.

I’ve taken for granted how easily I can slip out of bed in the middle of the night and use the bathroom and get back to sleep in 1-2 minutes!

A chamber pot crossed my mind, but the thought of walking the filled chamber pot 90 seconds to the bathroom in the morning grossed me out. Ewwww….

And I’m leaving you with that thought. You’re welcome!

My Christmas Present To You – Air Travel Tips for the Holidays

21. December 2008 · 4 comments · Categories: Uncategorized · Tags: , , ,

Merry Christmas, my wonderful friends/colleagues in the BLOGOSPHERE!

I’m sure you’re all excited about what my gift will be to you, right?

Well, after having the honor of flying the nation’s skies this holiday season during BOTH the Thanksgiving and Christmas rushes, I thought I’d offer these travel tips to the world to help friends better prepare for smooth travel during this season of crazy weather and stringent rules and stingy airlines, charging you fees left and right.

“That’s your gift to us? Travel tips? What if I’m not traveling anywhere?”

Well, I’m sure you know SOMEONE traveling for the holidays. And many of those folks will be trying to fly.

“Why should I listen to you?”

Because I fly a lot. I used to fly all the time when I was on active duty (almost once a month during my last assignment), but since I got out of the Air Force it’s dwindled down to 2-3 times per year. After my trip to the Middle East, I’ll probably be back to 4-6 times per year while I’m still doing AF Reserve work in South Carolina. I try to be as prepared as possible, and I have to admit, this trip I took was rather smooth, and I think it was because I did my homework ahead of time and abided by the rules of travel.

Believe it or not, it’s possible to have a smooth travel experience if you follow these tips:

NOTE: These tips for coach travelers, for the most part. I don’t travel first class often enough to know how these post-9/11 rules apply to business or first class travelers.

1.) Know the TSA’s rules for travel. This includes rules regarding luggage locks, transport of liquids and gels, and hazardous materials, such as knives. The TSA is recommending you NOT wrap gifts in your checked baggage, in case it has to be searched. The TSA will unwrap gifts if deemed necessary to complete searches.

a.) Liquids and gels in your carry-on. This is for carry-ons only, not for checked baggage. Know the 3-1-1 Rule for packing liquids in your carry on. Apparently you can store up to 13 containers in one of those 1 quart Ziploc bags. No individual containers may contain more than 3 oz. of liquid or gel.

Consider items such as gift baskets, snowglobes, gravies, colognes, toothpastes. These items may NOT cross the security checkpoint if their volume exceeds 3 oz., you may have to abandon them in order to make your flight…the last thing you want to leave behind is your new bottle of Chanel No. 5!

Finally: don’t buy a drink or carry a full water bottle with you to the airport unless you plan to drink it all on one side of the security checkpoint. Wait till you pass through security.

b.) Know what kinds of TSA-approved luggage locks are allowed on your bags. If the TSA finds a reason to open your bag and the lock is the wrong kind, it will be cut open.

c.) Have the proper federal or state government-issued I.D. College ID cards are NOT valid for travel. Neither are major credit cards. Your best bet is to invest in a passport. I have observed TSA employees work very quickly with passports and military ID cards. Even with state-issued drivers’ licenses, TSA employees will take some time to check for watermarks, holograms and other distinctive markings, which are different for each state.

d.) Know what to do in the security checkpoint. Please? Prepare while you’re in line: pack unnecessary metal items in your bags so they go through the X-Ray machine, remove your laptop ahead of time so it can be scanned separately, be prepared to remove your coat and/or sweater, make sure to wear slip-on shoes if possible because you are now required to remove your shoes.

Are you a parent traveling with a child and/or a stroller? Be prepared to pass the child through security separately (the rules are written vaguely about this, I’ve been allowed to carry Timmy as an infant though the metal detector but more than once I had to pass baby Jacob to the TSA employee on the other side of the detector so I could walk through separately), and also be prepared to empty out and fold up the stroller and run it through the X-Ray machine with your other bags.

2.) Know your air carrier’s policies regarding baggage. Let me break this down for you:

a.) Know if your carrier charges for checked baggage. I wish I could give you a link to an easy fee schedule chart, but these numbers are always changing, check with your carrier before you go on the latest and greatest. Be prepared to pay the baggage fee at check-in if you’re flying coach and aren’t in a Frequent Flyer prefered status. They’ll accept cash and credit cards, but probably not checks. I was behind someone in Omaha who thought he/she could pay with a check. Most carriers who are levying this fee are charging $15 for the first bag, $25-35 for the 2nd, and a ridiculous amount for the 3rd (Northwest = $125 for the 3rd bag). Southwest is one of the few carriers left not charging this fee, but I wonder if the higher airfare is compensating for that.

b.) Know if your carrier charges extra for over-sized or overweight bags. In Fort Walton Beach on Friday, someone in line pulled her 53 lb. bag off the scale at check-in, opened it up and removed about 5 lbs. worth of stuff to her purse so as not to pay $50 instead of $15 for her one checked bag.

c.) Don’t check fancy electronics, medications or excess amounts of cash or valuables. Use a carry on for these. Those bags get thrown around and opened/closed freely for random inspections. It’ll be hard to pinpoint where your wife’s diamond necklace might have been stolen between New York and Wichita.

d.) Pre-emptively remove those long shoulder straps from your checked baggage, if possible. Stuff them in a side pocket or your carry-on. Those straps might be removed by a baggage attendant and stuffed into a pocket, or they might not be removed and get shredded by a conveyor belt as it travels around. My garment bag’s shoulder strap is shredded in one location.

e.) I’ve preached this all my life. Airline travelers should own “good” luggage, but not “great” luggage. Luggage is meant to hold and protect your belongings during travel, and it will be tossed around, slid around and might be sitting in cargo at the bottom of a rather large pile of baggage. It’ll get beat up. For me, personally, I find Vera Bradley luggage absolutely beautiful, but I have to admit I’d be scared to rip up that pretty quilting with how often I travel. Give me a good Samsonite or Land’s End suitcase.

f.) Find a way to quickly identify your suitcase. Especially if it’s a black rectangular suitcase. My Mom used to use colorful yarn, I’ve seen bright ribbons tied around the girth of the suitcase. What do I do? I have a brightly colored luggage tag such as what you might find here.

3.) Understand the type of aircraft you’ll be flying on…I’m sure many of you ordinarily won’t care about this type of thing, but airlines are getting more and more stringent about the size of your carry-on. A good way to know how big the plane is by getting an idea of how many seats across there are in coach class. 2, 3 or 4 seats across is usually the standard in a smaller plane. If you have a standard rectangular wheeled carry on and you think it’s going to fit into the overhead bin on a smaller plane, forget it. You’ll likely be asked to check it at the gate. My backpack didn’t fit into the overhead bin on the Bombardier CR-9. Therefore, you need to preemptively remove things you might want during flight: reading materials, drinks (purchased after the security checkpoint, of course) and snacks.

Don’t be “that person”…blocking the aisle for 2-3 minutes while attempting to stuff your carry-on into the overhead compartment!

4.) Food. The rumors are true: food service has dwindled down quite a bit and I don’t know which flights serve snacks, which serve meals, and which serve nothing at all. My December 19th flight between Fort Walton Beach and Memphis (about 1 hour, 10 minutes) served a pre-packaged 6 oz. cup of water or juice or coffee, while the leg between Memphis and Omaha (about 1 hour, 28 minutes) offered complimentary soft drinks and juices, and alcoholic beverages for an additional cost. On both legs there were snacks for sale. Since I was coming home from 3 weeks of living in a hotel, I had brought along apples and granola cereal to nosh on during the flight. Remember, food products aren’t a problem with security, just liquids and gels.

5.) If you’re booking a trip with more than one leg to your flight, don’t bother with flights with less than 1 hour layovers in large hub airports such as Chicago, Atlanta, Dallas or Charlotte. You don’t necessarily know how far apart the gates will be at layover time, and delays can pop out of nowhere! Yesterday my plane from Memphis was ready to go to Omaha, but the crew to fly the plane was due in from Detroit and were delayed.

6.) And my last tip for holiday travel: Be cooperative with authorities, and keep your sense of humor. The airport employees have quite a thankless job during the holidays, and understand that their job is to get you there safely. Most delays happen for the sake of safety, and while we might be inconvenienced, our lives might have been saved by their erring on the side of caution. Whether it’s maintenance issues, training, or the weather.

So there you have it, Patricia’s Tips for Travel. I’ve experienced every kind of delay you can think of, and I think I’ve seen every kind of crazy passenger out there (except for terrorists, thankfully)…for those who think our security measures and rules are severe, just try to fly in and out of Israel or India.

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