At the gate in Omaha, a little boy (7-8 years old, I would guess) came
up to me and asked,”Are you in the REAL Army?” My answer was
“Actually, I’m in the Air Force”. And I pointed to my uniform where it
reads “U.S. Air Force”. He said “Cool!” and returned to his parents.
I had to resist the tempation to explain to the child the crime of
inpersonating a military member. Or tell him that I’m in a fake
Army. 🙂
(Smile! That was meant to be funny!)
Happy New Year to my Blog-readers! Thank you for your continued support, hopefully I’ve done my job in keeping friends and family informed of my goings-on this past year. While attempting to keep it entertaining.
This funny story came to me from one of our North Carolina neighbors. She and her son and his girlfriend used to dogsit Howie on our many weekend roadtrips.
To my Dog loving friends out there
WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES…..
Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary……
8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat’s Daily Diary…
Day 983 of my captivity..
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am.
Bastards.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try th is again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now………………
Paul did it again! He’s pointed out some crazy website to me and I’m now addicted.
NOTE: My affinity for The Pioneer Woman’s site is all his fault!
Presenting: the Do-It-Yourself Demotivational Poster Generator
Dave and I have always gotten a kick out of those motivational posters, such as this one:
But we get MORE of a kick out of the parodies on the motivational posters. This one was framed in Dave’s office in Florida.
Sure, folks have tried to make up their own, and you get something like this one below, which is from the USJFCOM Joint Warfighting Center in Suffolk, VA. Framed, hanging up on the wall. I couldn’t even go into this room with a straight face. I did a lot of Reserve work in the room with this poster in 2006 and 2007. There was a series of posters featuring different facets of military capability: “Intelligence”, “Operations”, “Logistics”. While I’m honored that someone thought to include “Meterology”, I wish someone had consulted a spell-checker first.
I didn’t add that Post-It note, someone else did:
With the link I’ve shown above, you can upload a picture of your choice, then add your own title and catch-phrase. Then you can e-mail the poster to friends, save a JPG of the poster to your hard drive, and you can even order an 11 x 14 of the poster for about $12!
Enjoy my latest creations.
Feel free to try it out and let me know if you come up with any particularly good ones!
Here’s a link to the company that markets the REAL motivation posters, if you’re wanting to learn more about the real thing: Successories.
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