It’s been 5 days, and I’m pleased to report that we can now write and talk about Howie without bursting into tears. But it sure was a tough 5 days…for Jacob, it was the worst first thing in the morning, when he usually kisses Howie good morning, and at bedtime, when saying “goodnight” to Howie was part of his very elaborate go-to-bed routine.
I felt like the bad guy by Monday; the boys had a day off from school, so they had an extra day to grieve, but by Monday night I had to ask the boys to do their best to get back into their normal routines. School, baseball, and music lessons weren’t going to stop.
Nonetheless, all week there have been tiny little hints of Howie’s absence. I feel it pretty profoundly when Dave is at work at the boys are at school. I’m not bursting into tears anymore, but I still think to myself, “Boy do I miss my good boy.” Here are several small examples of where I feel his absence: