{"id":441,"date":"2010-07-02T15:23:00","date_gmt":"2010-07-02T15:23:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thevollmerfamily.com\/MajorMom\/2010\/07\/funny-fireworks.html"},"modified":"2010-07-02T15:23:00","modified_gmt":"2010-07-02T15:23:00","slug":"funny-fireworks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thevollmerfamily.com\/MajorMom\/2010\/07\/funny-fireworks.html","title":{"rendered":"Funny Fireworks"},"content":{"rendered":"

This week I’m volunteering at a fireworks stand. For those saying “Wow! How?”, let me explain a little.<\/p>\n

The state of Nebraska allows 10 days per year for free-for-all fireworks sales\/use<\/a>. There are some exceptions: none of this is legal in the Omaha city limits, and Lincoln only allows sales for 2 days. So starting on June 25th, you hear the explosions as everyone’s having a good time with their loot. In our neighborhood, it’s only really loud till about 10pm…except for July 4th, I know last summer we were launching till midnight, at least!<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
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From 2009 07 04 July4thBlockParty<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

In Bellevue, and perhaps in other cities (but I don’t know for sure), local non-profits can pay the licensing fees and sell the fireworks as a fundraiser. I got an e-mail from the Bellevue Soccer Club<\/a> looking for volunteers to help man their club’s fundraiser fireworks stand up the road from us. My first thought? DISCOUNTS! Even though I was TDY at the beginning of the week, and we’re leaving on vacation at the end of the week, I still thought it’d be a fun thing to do, so I volunteered to do 2 four-hour shifts.<\/p>\n

I did my first four-hour shift yesterday and it was fun. Not super crowded, but not bad either. A steady stream of customers. <\/p>\n

Anyway, the point of this blog post is to share some of the hilarious names for these fireworks.  These are all multi-shot small mortar shells.  You light it one time and it launches 25 or so shots in succession.<\/p>\n

Some are benign. There’s no doubt what this is, right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
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From 2010 07 10 Fireworks Packages<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

Some are sillier. And we start to lose any sense of what’s in the packaging.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
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From 2010 07 10 Fireworks Packages<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

Some are adrenaline-packed! Forget about a description of what this is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
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From 2010 07 10 Fireworks Packages<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

And this one made no sense to me whatsoever. Are these even fireworks???<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
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From 2010 07 10 Fireworks Packages<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

And here are some others…enjoy!<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
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From 2010 07 10 Fireworks Packages<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n\n\n\n\n
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From 2010 07 10 Fireworks Packages<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n\n\n\n\n
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From 2010 07 10 Fireworks Packages<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This week I’m volunteering at a fireworks stand. For those saying “Wow! How?”, let me explain a little. The state of Nebraska allows 10 days per year for free-for-all fireworks sales\/use. There are some exceptions: none of this is legal in the Omaha city limits, and Lincoln only allows sales for 2 days. So starting […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[],"tags":[54,56,616],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p5ycQ0-77","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":602,"url":"https:\/\/thevollmerfamily.com\/MajorMom\/2011\/07\/flashback-from-2010-funny-fireworks.html","url_meta":{"origin":441,"position":0},"title":"Flashback From 2010: Funny Fireworks!","date":"03 July 11","format":false,"excerpt":"This was from a year ago today, but it's worth reviving for this year, since I laugh so much from the stupid names of some of these products!This week I'm volunteering at a fireworks stand. For those saying \"Wow! How?\", let me explain a little.The state of Nebraska allows 10\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"holidays\"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3497,"url":"https:\/\/thevollmerfamily.com\/MajorMom\/2014\/12\/utah-camping-in-moab.html","url_meta":{"origin":441,"position":1},"title":"Utah Discoveries 2: Camping in Moab","date":"31 December 14","format":false,"excerpt":"We elected to camp in Moab, which might not have been the best idea. We didn't think about Moab\u00a0being at a lower elevation than the previous places we visited (Durango and the Grand Canyon), it being the month of July, or the noise we'd experience in a state that allows\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"camping\"","img":{"alt_text":"IMG_9808","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/thevollmerfamily.com\/MajorMom\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/IMG_9808-1024x768.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":525,"url":"https:\/\/thevollmerfamily.com\/MajorMom\/2011\/03\/my-new-commuter-life-part-iii-food-folks-and-fun.html","url_meta":{"origin":441,"position":2},"title":"My New Commuter Life, Part III: Food, Folks and Fun*","date":"08 March 11","format":false,"excerpt":"*Wait a second, wasn't that a major fast-food corporation jingle?While I was in Nebraska, I did make some time to visit with my Pokeno girlfriends, have a nice dinner out with Shannon (who took me in at her house when the Offutt Inn was booked for the week), and enjoy\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"air force reserves\"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lh6.googleusercontent.com\/_yz59FVsseJY\/TXAW1r__y9I\/AAAAAAABRfQ\/d7KksIi4758\/s640\/IMG_4026.JPG?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":449,"url":"https:\/\/thevollmerfamily.com\/MajorMom\/2010\/08\/fontenelle-splashground.html","url_meta":{"origin":441,"position":3},"title":"Nebraska Discoveries 18: Fontenelle Splashground","date":"14 August 10","format":false,"excerpt":"Today Shannon and I took our boys to this new \"splashpark\" that opened 2 weeks ago in North Omaha. \u00a0What a fun, FREE, way to spend a hot summer afternoon! School starts Monday! Since the original post this afternoon I've had a chance to add more commentary about this place.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"friends\"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":649,"url":"https:\/\/thevollmerfamily.com\/MajorMom\/2011\/09\/ground-control-to-lieutenant-colonel-mom.html","url_meta":{"origin":441,"position":4},"title":"Ground Control to Lieutenant Colonel Mom???","date":"19 September 11","format":false,"excerpt":"No, it isn't working for me either. \u00a0I'll keep the title as is, okay?Greetings from Nebraska. \u00a0I've been on Reserve duty for the past week. \u00a0I hadn't been here since May, so it was nice to see my colleagues and meet several new faces in my office. Many of you\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"air force reserves\"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.usmilitaryjewelry.com\/images\/products\/thumb\/mlc-10756%20(2).png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":524,"url":"https:\/\/thevollmerfamily.com\/MajorMom\/2011\/03\/my-new-commuter-life-part-ii-just-because-i-now-live-in-florida.html","url_meta":{"origin":441,"position":5},"title":"My New Commuter Life, Part II: Just Because I Now Live in Florida….","date":"07 March 11","format":false,"excerpt":"....doesn't mean I never have to see snow again, right?Or drive in the snow again?(As promised in my previous post, here's the story of why I'll never buy a Ford Mustang north of the Mason\/Dixon line!)On last weekend's trip to Omaha, I was fortunate to travel in between major winter\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"air force reserves\"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lh4.googleusercontent.com\/_yz59FVsseJY\/TXAWoMdjTVI\/AAAAAAABRek\/8LNZ20-eKcg\/s400\/IMG_4297.JPG?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thevollmerfamily.com\/MajorMom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/441"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thevollmerfamily.com\/MajorMom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thevollmerfamily.com\/MajorMom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thevollmerfamily.com\/MajorMom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thevollmerfamily.com\/MajorMom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=441"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/thevollmerfamily.com\/MajorMom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/441\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thevollmerfamily.com\/MajorMom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=441"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thevollmerfamily.com\/MajorMom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=441"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thevollmerfamily.com\/MajorMom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=441"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}